CEO Spends Morning Practicing Stutter And Spilling Coffee To Prove He Isn’t Deepfake

AI satire illustration: CEO Spends Morning Practicing Stutter And Spilling Coffee To Prove He Isn't Deepfake

"If a leader speaks in complete sentences without sweating, the market assumes it is an AI avatar," said Elena Rodriguez, VP of Human Authentication. "In a world of synthetic perfection, your awkwardness is your greatest proof of life. We actually have a KPI for visible nervousness. If Marcus doesn’t trip over an HDMI cable at least once, our stock drops four points."

The trend has created a booming industry for consultants teaching "strategic incompetence." "We coach executives to leave their microphone on mute while talking for at least 45 seconds," explained executive coach James Wilson, holding a clipboard of planned failures. "Nothing signals biological integrity like a room full of people yelling ‘you’re on mute’ at a billionaire. It really humanizes the layoffs."

At press time, Chen’s approval rating hit an all-time high after he accidentally shared his screen showing a Google search for "how to run a company."

Inspired by the real story: In an era of AI perfection, leaders are finding that being polished is suspicious and awkwardness signals trust. Read the full story.

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