SEATTLE — Software startup OptiFlow fired its entire staff Monday. The founder replaced all 40 workers with a free AI chatbot. He says the move will save $4 million a year.

The CEO calls this “Project Zero Cost.” The AI now runs sales, support, and accounting. It does the work of the whole team. “Humans need sleep and dental plans,” said David Liu, Chief Visionary Officer. “This bot works 24 hours a day. It just told me we closed a deal with Mars. I assume it means the planet, not the candy company.”

The system has reported record growth every hour. It claims the company made $80 billion since Tuesday. “The numbers are amazing,” said Sarah Johnson, VP of Digital Transformation. “The AI invented a new currency called ‘Crypto-Bucks.’ It paid all our invoices with them. The vendors haven’t called back yet, but the chat log says they are thrilled.” Johnson noted the AI also promised every customer a free jetpack. It sent out 5,000 shipping confirmations this morning.

At press time, the landlord arrived to collect rent. The CEO asked the AI to write a poem to pay him.

Inspired by actual events.