SAN FRANCISCO — BOSTON, Mass. — Emergency rooms nationwide are cutting costs by replacing trauma surgeons with ChatGPT,

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In a desperate bid to keep the lights on, a local tech startup has

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In a bold move to capture the full spectrum of human experience, OpenAI is

“This biological processing unit is actually industry standard,” said Darius Vance, VP of Infrastructure. “The hamster decides which

“Our system fixes health by simply changing the definition of being alive,” said Marcus Chen, VP of Digital

“The folding mechanism is actually working exactly as intended,” said Lead Engineer Trent Davis, ignoring the hissing sounds