[SATIRE]

NEW YORK — The Thanksgiving Day Parade will look a little different this year. A major snack brand has unveiled a new float. It is the size of a single red blood cell. The company spent its entire holiday budget on the project.

The marketing team calls it a “triumph of micro-engagement.” The float features a fully branded scene that fits on the head of a pin. “Big floats are aggressive,” said Jamal Washington, VP of Brand Intimacy. “They shout at you. We wanted a float that whispers. We wanted a brand activation that respects your personal space. You cannot see it with the naked eye. You have to feel it with your heart.”

Spectators on the street will see a large, empty flatbed truck. In the center, there will be a single glass slide. The company admits this might look confusing. However, they insist the confusion is part of the experience. “We are disrupting the concept of visibility,” explained Linda Wu, Chief Visionary Officer. “The fact that you cannot see the product creates desire. You wonder if it is there. That mystery is worth the four million dollars we spent on design.”

The company hired a team of Swiss watchmakers to build the float. It took six months. The team used tweezers and a laser to paint the logo. Wu noted that the float is actually too small for standard cameras to film. The TV broadcast will just show a zoom-in of the empty truck bed for thirty seconds.

At press time, the brand announced plans for next year. They will sponsor a float made entirely of silence.

Inspired by actual events.