[SATIRE]

NEW YORK — A new luxury service called "The Void" launched on Tuesday. It costs $50 million a year. It promises one simple thing. It deletes wealthy clients from every AI system on Earth.

Most people have their data used to train AI for free. But the ultra-rich want out. "Being known is for normal people," said Elena Rodriguez, VP of Digital Scarcity. "True luxury is when Google has no idea who you are. If a chatbot can write your biography, you aren’t exclusive enough." The service guarantees that ChatGPT will say "I don’t know" when asked about you.

The package includes a team of lawyers and hackers. They scrub the client’s name from news sites. They replace online photos with stock images of clouds. "We sell total silence," explained David Liu, Director of Elite Client Anonymity. "One client paid extra to delete his Wikipedia page. Now, his name just returns a ‘Page Not Found’ error. He printed that error out and framed it on his yacht." Liu noted that privacy is the only thing money can still buy.

At press time, a client sued the company. The service worked too well. His smart home locked him out because it forgot who he was.

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