CUPERTINO, CA — Apple announced a massive breakthrough in artificial intelligence today, revealing that the new Siri will be powered by Tim Cook and Sundar Pichai wearing a single oversized trench coat trying to pass as one functional AI assistant. The pair stumbled onto the stage, wobbling slightly, to demonstrate the seamless integration of hardware and search.

By Marcus Chen, AI Bee Reel Staff

“This is the unified experience our users demand,” said Craig Federighi, Apple’s VP of Software Engineering, ignoring the fact that the ‘AI’ nearly tripped over a cable. “We have combined Apple’s privacy with Google’s cloud technology. The latency is practically zero because Tim just nudges Sundar in the ribs when he needs an answer.” The partnership involves Apple using Gemini models for foundational tasks, mostly handled by the person acting as the legs.

Users are already noticing the human touch. “We call it ‘Organic Intelligence,'” explained Elena Rodriguez, Google’s Director of Synergies. “When you ask for a recipe, the coat pauses, you hear muffled arguing from the torso area, and then a hand pops out with a sticky note. It is much more personal than a server farm.”

At press time, the coat was seen running away after someone asked it to generate an image of a historical figure.

Inspired by the real story: Apple and Google have embarked on a non-exclusive partnership to use Gemini models for future AI features. Read the full story.