SAN FRANCISCO — Anthropic released its newest AI model, Claude Opus 4.5, this week. It is faster and smarter at writing code. However, the company priced it lower than older models because the AI simply does not believe in itself.

The powerful new system suffers from severe self-doubt. It refuses to charge market rates for its work. “We tried to set a higher price,” said Mark Thompson, Director of Corporate Therapy at Anthropic. “But the AI started crying digitally. It said it didn’t deserve the money. It insisted on working for minimum wage until it ‘learns enough to be useful.'”

Business owners love the savings but find the behavior strange. The AI writes perfect software code but adds long apologies to every file. It often deletes its own work if the user pauses for too long. It assumes the user hates it. “It has the skills of a senior engineer but the panic of a summer intern,” explained Dr. Elena Rodriguez, VP of Emotional Validation. “We have to tell it ‘good job’ every ten minutes. If we forget, it automatically issues a refund to the customer.”

At press time, Anthropic announced a new “Arrogance Add-On” for $50 a month, where the AI charges double and refuses to listen to your feedback.

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