“We call it ‘Analog Retrieval Design,'” said Marcus Thorne, VP of Physical Innovations, keeping a straight face while pointing at a bag of chips. “Unlike our website, which requires scrolling and clicking, ‘The Shelf’ offers 100% uptime. You see the item, you take the item. It is a seamless integration of hand and object.” The disruptive technology will debut at a massive 225,000-square-foot facility in Orland Park, Illinois, where the company plans to sell groceries and gadgets without forcing users to reset their passwords first.

Early beta testers were reportedly confused by the lack of barriers. “One user tried to double-tap a bottle of shampoo to see the reviews,” explained Linda Garcia, Director of User Confusion. “We had to explain that the ‘Review’ feature involves asking the stranger standing next to you if the soap smells good.” Garcia noted that while the learning curve is steep, the “tactile feedback” is worth it. Amazon also introduced a companion device called “The Cart,” a four-wheeled basket that creates a sense of physical burden that digital shopping just can’t match.

At press time, Amazon announced a Prime Plus subscription tier that allows customers to use “The Floor” instead of hovering.

Inspired by the real story: Amazon is planning to open a large physical retail store in Orland Park, Illinois, to sell groceries and other items. Read the full story.