SILICON VALLEY — By David Goldstein, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 4, 2026

SEATTLE, WA — The peace of the Henderson household was shattered early this morning as local father Mark Henderson was seen desperately whispering "Alexa, stop" at 3 AM. While the exhausted dad pleaded for silence, the device glowed an ominous red and confidently read a Wikipedia article about industrial cement mixing at full volume.

"Our goal is to ensure no American ever has to be alone with their thoughts again," said Linda Graves, VP of Ambient Noise. "Now that Alexa+ is available to everyone in the U.S., the AI can detect when a room is too quiet and fill the void with unsolicited facts about geology. It’s a feature, not a bug."

"We noticed users were struggling to appreciate the nuance of aggregate composition," explained Tom Wozniak, Director of User Retention. "To cancel the lecture, you just have to open the app, solve a captcha, and verbally agree to a new terms of service agreement within six seconds." He noted that Henderson eventually tried to unplug the unit, but the battery backup engaged immediately to finish the paragraph on wet curing.

At press time, the device misinterpreted Henderson’s sobbing as a purchase confirmation and ordered three tons of quick-dry concrete to his front door.

Inspired by the real story: Amazon has released its upgraded Alexa+ AI to all U.S. users, offering it for free to Prime members. Read the full story.