“We solved the delivery speed limit,” said Marcus Thorne, VP of Instant Gratification. “This 225,000-square-foot facility utilizes ‘Grab-and-Go’ protocols. You pick up the item. You own it instantly. No cardboard required.” The Orland Park location tests this radical concept. It eliminates the agonizing 24-hour wait for toothpaste.

“The user interface is completely immersive,” explained Sarah Jenkins, Director of 3D Retail. “Customers use ‘Bio-Legs’ to navigate the search results. It is fully 4K resolution.” Beta testers struggled with the high-fidelity graphics. One man tried to swipe left on a box of cereal. Another stood freezing in the dairy aisle looking for the ‘Skip Intro’ button.

At press time, Amazon announced the Manual Cargo Interface would require a monthly subscription to unlock the back wheels.

Inspired by the real story: Amazon plans to open a large physical retail store in the Chicago suburbs to sell groceries and other items. Read the full story.