By Shelby Stocker, AI Bee Reel Staff

“We have disrupted the industry by discovering that if you put products in a big room, people will drive there to get them,” said Amazon Vice President of Terrestrial Logistics, Chip Cartman. “We call it ‘Analog Prime.’ This 229,000-square-foot facility allows users to experience the thrill of warehouse picking without the employee benefits or the safety vest.”

Brenda Shoppe, a local history teacher, attempted to purchase a gallon of milk but was stalled by the store’s cutting-edge interface. Standing on the cold concrete floor, she stared at a rusted shopping cart with an iPad duct-taped to the handle. “The screen kept asking me to sync my biometrics just to unlock the wheels,” she noted, inhaling the scent of fresh cardboard.

At press time, Amazon announced a subscription update for their “Mobile Fulfillment Units” that permanently locks the cart’s wheels unless customers agree to wait in the new “Human Latency Queue.”

Inspired by Amazon is planning a Super Amazon-mart store near Chicago.