SEATTLE — By Joseph Martinez, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 16, 2026

MINNEAPOLIS, MN — A simple shopping trip turned violent at Best Buy today. Just as local teenager Kyle Miller reached for a PS5 console, a suit-wearing AI executive burst from the aisle, tore the box open, and physically snatched the RAM stick inside while shouting, “The Chatbot needs to eat!”

“We aren’t villains here,” said Brad Haptics, Director of Neural Nutrition at OpenTech. “Sony and Nintendo are reportedly feeling squeezed by RAM shortages, but that is not my problem. Your son wants to jump on turtles with Mario. Cute. But our Large Language Model hasn’t had a byte of memory in six minutes. It is starving. Do you want the AI to get cranky and delete your email?”

“It takes massive resources to answer simple questions wrong,” explained Linda Server, Vice President of Compute Scarcity. “If we don’t feed the data center 400 tons of high-speed memory daily, how will it generate a picture of a dog with five legs for your PowerPoint? The public needs to understand that video games are a luxury, but AI-generated sea shanties are a necessity.”

At press time, the executive was seen gnawing on a stolen graphics card in the parking lot while the teenager was offered a job as a human battery.

Inspired by the real story: Sony and Nintendo might delay new consoles because AI data centers are buying up all the memory chips. Read the full story.