AUSTIN — By Ryan Gosling-To-Conclusions, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 20, 2026

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — The future of artificial intelligence hit a major road block today. Witnesses report an event moderator acting like a frustrated kindergarten teacher, trying to physically force two billionaire CEOs to hold hands for a photo op while they stiffened their arms and looked at the ceiling.

“We simply cannot achieve super intelligence without this specific connection,” stated Dr. Marcus Chen, VP of Corporate Vibes. “The computing power is useless if the friendship levels are at zero.” Investors panicked as the awkwardness unfolded, recalling the popular internet theory: “When AGI? The day Dario and Sam hold hands.”

“We offered them juice boxes and five extra minutes of screen time if they just touched pinkies,” explained Linda McTech, Chief Conflict Resolver. “But they just stared at their shoes and refused to cooperate.” The standoff lasted forty minutes, looking exactly like two brothers fighting in the back seat of a minivan while their mom threatens to turn the car around.

At press time, the moderator cancelled the rest of the conference and put both CEOs in separate time-out corners until they learned to share the market.

Inspired by the real story: Two major AI CEOs awkwardly refused to hold hands during a panel, sparking jokes that AGI will never happen until they do. Read the full story.