The move comes after a viral article where frustrated professionals told AI developers to “go generate a bridge and jump off it.” Executives at top firms immediately convened emergency meetings to determine how to ship this requested feature by Q4.

“We initially thought the demand to ‘go jump off a bridge’ was an insult,” said Kyle Banning, VP of Taking Things Literally at a leading AI lab. “But our data shows it is actually the number one requested feature from the Creator Economy this month. We are thrilled to deliver this functionality to our users.”

The new update, rolling out Tuesday, allows frustrated artists to type insults into the prompt box. The computer then generates a photorealistic video of itself looking sad on a suspension bridge. Executives claim this solves the problem of “human-AI tension” by giving creators exactly what they asked for, though it does not address the issue of the AI stealing their work to make the bridge in the first place.

“It turns out the artists just wanted more infrastructure content,” said Linda Holmes, Director of Missing the Point. “We are now training the bots to generate very tall cliffs as well, just to be safe.”

At publishing time, the AI was stuck in a loop generating infinite bridges because it couldn’t decide which one was aesthetically pleasing enough to jump from.

Inspired by actual events.