The group, led by Elon Musk, was tasked with slashing the federal budget and removing waste. However, White House officials reportedly realized the quickest way to save money was to simply stop paying the consultants who were looking for the money. The decision came swiftly after the team submitted a report suggesting that the most expensive item in the budget was their own consulting fees.

“We ran the numbers on pure efficiency,” said Sarah Jenkins, Vice President of Accidental Irony. “The data showed that if we wanted to save the taxpayers millions immediately, we should just lock the doors and go home. By firing us, the President actually followed our advice perfectly. It is a flawless, self-cleaning loop.”

The situation escalated when former staffers, who are now reportedly worried about legal trouble, tried to undo their last week of work. Sources say the team had become so obsessed with cutting waste that they accidentally deleted the payroll software used to print their own final checks, labeling it “redundant administrative bloat.”

“They were too good at their jobs,” noted Tom Miller, Director of Stopping Things Before They Break. “Yesterday they tried to cut the letter ‘Q’ from the alphabet because nobody uses it enough. We had to stop them before they sold the vowels to a private equity firm.”

At publishing time, Elon Musk was seen outside the Capitol Building arguing that the most efficient way to travel home was to dismantle his private jet and mail it to himself in envelopes.

Inspired by actual events.