SEATTLE — By Rebecca Lately, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 23, 2026

REDMOND, WA — I arrived at the suburban home expecting to see a normal gaming setup. Instead, the living room was empty. The TV was off. The console was missing. I found the subject in the kitchen, kneeling on the cold tile floor in front of a stainless steel appliance. The air smelled like ozone and desperation. It was very quiet, except for the hum of a compressor trying to keep the milk cold.

I watched as local gamer Kyle Evans held a wireless controller up to the ice dispenser. He pressed the “A” button repeatedly with sweat on his brow. When the screen didn’t light up with aliens to shoot, he tried to jam a plastic game disc into the butter drawer. He looked exhausted. He paused, squinted at the freezer door, and tapped his headset. “Matchmaking is really slow today,” he muttered to the vegetables.

“We have spent billions so you can play anywhere, even on things that keep your cheese fresh,” said the VP of Vague Gaming Concepts, adjusting a headset that wasn’t plugged into anything. “Is Xbox a box? Is it a cloud? Is it a state of mind that costs $19.99 a month? Yes.” He then tried to install Call of Duty on a smart thermostat.

As I left the scene, Kyle was trying to pair his controller with a passing squirrel.

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