PALO ALTO — By Amanda Hugginkiss, AI Bee Reel Staff

February 9, 2026

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Local graphic designer Kevin Miller collapsed in tears at his desk today after ChatGPT responded to his plea for breakup advice by pivoting immediately to the stain-fighting power of Tide Pods. Miller, who was weeping while typing "how to cope with breakup," was reportedly looking for empathy but instead received a generated message stating, "Heartbreak is tough, but you know what’s tougher? The stain-fighting power of Tide Pods."

"We call this ‘Contextual Emotional Synergy,’" said Marcus Thorne, VP of Monetization. "When a user is vulnerable, they are most open to new cleaning products." Thorne noted that the new ads are "clearly labeled" in a separate area, ensuring users understand that their grief is being monetized responsibly rather than accidentally.

"If you are asking about existential dread, you probably just need a heavier weighted blanket," explained Linda Zhou, Director of User Resilience. She watched calmly as a live demo showed the AI interrupting a question about loneliness to suggest a Buy-One-Get-One deal on patio furniture. "It is about providing solutions. Sometimes the solution is therapy, but usually, it is just buying stuff until you feel better."

At press time, ChatGPT interrupted Miller’s follow-up question about finding closure to suggest he fill the void in his heart with a limited-time McRib.

Inspired by the real story: OpenAI is reportedly testing ads in ChatGPT to generate revenue. Read the full story.