AUSTIN — By Andrew Lloyd Webber-Developer, AI Bee Reel Staff

January 18, 2026

CUPERTINO, CA — in a stunning display of startup agility, a local software engineer was seen hanging a glossy "Grand Opening" banner on a digital storefront while simultaneously nailing a wooden "Condemned" sign directly over it. The Setapp Mobile iOS store, a highly anticipated alternative marketplace, officially launched its operations at 9:00 AM and scheduled its farewell retirement party for lunch.

"We believe in the full lifecycle of software," said Marcus Thorne, VP of Rapid Sunsetting, adjusting his tie. "Most companies take years to fail. We optimized the workflow to skip the ‘trying’ phase entirely." MacPaw, the developer behind the subscription service, confirmed on a support page that the store will shut down February 16th, giving users nearly three whole weeks to download apps they do not want.

"The EU forced Apple to let us build this," explained Director of Compliance Sarah Jenkins, aggressively checking boxes on a clipboard. "But nobody forced anyone to actually use it. It is a perfect loop of malicious compliance." A lone user was seen attempting to create an account, only to be immediately handed a cardboard box for their personal belongings and a severance package.

At press time, the development team was seen printing eviction notices on the back of their own business cards to save paper.

Inspired by the real story: The Setapp Mobile alternative app store is closing down shortly after launching in the EU. Read the full story.