SEATTLE — By Matt Ress, AI Bee Reel Staff

January 14, 2026

REDMOND, Wash. — A Microsoft executive in a sharp suit was seen today dragging a thick orange extension cord across a suburban lawn. He calmly plugged a city-sized server farm into a single surge protector on a family’s front porch. He gave a confident thumbs up to the homeowner, Gary, even as the house lights flickered violently and the toaster exploded inside the kitchen.

“We are committed to being a good neighbor while building vital AI infrastructure,” said VP of Global Power Linda Sparks, stepping over a smoking fuse box without looking down. “Just because this single data center consumes the same wattage as the entire country of Belgium doesn’t mean your personal bill will change. We have optimized the flow so it only drains power when you aren’t looking at the meter.”

“The grid is actually stronger now that we are pulling 99% of the voltage for ChatBot thinking time,” explained Director of Energy Denial Thomas Watts. He noted that if the electric meter spins fast enough to fly off the wall, it technically stops counting, which is a savings for the consumer. Meanwhile, the homeowner stood in his dark kitchen, trying to warm a frozen burrito by holding it next to the glowing extension cord running through his window.

At press time, Microsoft sent the homeowner a bill for “providing ambient warmth” from the overheating servers now parked in his driveway.

Inspired by the real story: Microsoft is building massive energy-sucking data centers but claims regular people won’t pay higher electric rates. Read the full story.