SAN FRANCISCO, CA — The tech world is holding its breath as X prepares to show exactly how it picks what you see. Engineers in hazmat suits spent the morning cracking open a glowing vault labeled ‘THE ALGORITHM’ only to find a single hamster wheel and a sticky note that says ‘Make Elon Funny’.

By Kenji Sato, AI Bee Reel Staff

“The setup is very clean and modular,” said Lead Engineer Sarah Ng, adjusting her radiation suit while inspecting the rodent. “We expected complex math, but it turns out the whole site runs on this little guy’s cardio.” In 2023, the company shared some code, but experts say this new peek behind the curtain finally explains why the ‘For You’ page is mostly just the owner laughing at his own jokes.

“We are optimizing the feed by feeding the hamster better snacks,” explained VP of Engagement Marcus Thorne. “If the hamster stops running, users might accidentally see a post from a friend they actually like.” Thorne noted that the sticky note instruction is the hardest part of the system, causing the hamster visible stress whenever it tries to process a meme from 2012.

At press time, the hamster was fired for “woke mind virus” and replaced by a large red button that just reposts the owner.

Inspired by the real story: Elon Musk claimed he will open-source the X algorithm within a week, even though the last code dump was largely outdated and useless. Read the full story.