"Modern domestic life puts a strain on the human chassis that evolution simply didn’t prepare us for," said Marcus Thorne, VP of Consumer Hydraulics at RoboLift. "Our data shows that 85% of fathers risk minor strain when bending for the bottom shelf. This suit mitigates that risk by applying 400 pounds of torque to the simple act of pouring cereal." While these suits were once for warehouses, trends from CES 2026 show tech companies are now pushing heavy machinery for light snacking.

The device requires a mandatory software update before every meal. "Safety is our priority, which is why the suit locks all joints if the Wi-Fi disconnects," explained Linda Garcia, Director of Connected Wellness. "It forces the user to take a mindfulness break while standing perfectly still in the kitchen." Neighbors report seeing Miller stuck in a squat position for three hours last Tuesday because his monthly subscription payment failed during a lunge.

At press time, Miller was seen browsing for a larger, industrial-grade crane to assist him in lifting the exoskeleton off the floor.

Inspired by the real story: CES 2026 featured a wave of wearable tech and exoskeletons, though major companies are struggling to find new ideas. Read the full story.