SAN FRANCISCO — A tech founder has successfully raised a major round of funding from inside a prison cell. He claims the strict schedule and lack of freedom are actually “productivity hacks.” He was seen pitching investors through the visiting room glass while holding a plastic phone.

By Sarah Kim, AI Bee Reel Staff

“The prison system offers the kind of efficiency we usually only see in robots,” said Elena Rodriguez, an investor at Sequoia Capital. “The terrible Wi-Fi is actually a feature. It forces founders to code instead of scrolling Twitter. Incarceration is basically just ‘stealth mode’ with better security guards.”<

The trend is catching on. “I tried renting an office, but the fancy coffee was too distracting,” explained James Wilson, a founder currently hoping for a tax evasion sentence. “Here, the rent is free. The networking is organic. And the 23-hour lockdown is perfect for coding sprints without anyone slacking you.”

At press time, the founder closed the deal and immediately asked the warden for solitary confinement to focus on “deep work” before the IPO.

Inspired by a jailed CEO who makes $1M deal.