“We have successfully decoupled ‘output’ from ‘human thought,'” said Senior Partner James Wilson, standing atop a three-foot drift of printed Gantt charts. “While AI cannot replace the essential human skill of charging $850 an hour to repeat what the client just said, it allows us to generate ‘Deliverables’ at Mach 3. We saved 1.5 million hours of labor this year, primarily by automating the creation of slides that say ‘Synergy’ in twelve different fonts.”

The new proprietary model, dubbed “CircleBack-GPT,” is designed to overwhelm decision-makers with sheer volume before they can ask about ROI. “Previously, a consultant needed two weeks to create a confusing matrix,” explained Elena Rodriguez, VP of Client Retention. “Now, we can fill a boardroom with 40 gigabytes of strategic pillars in milliseconds.” Witnesses reported seeing a mid-level manager helplessly nodding in agreement as the sheer velocity of the slide transition animations pinned him to the drywall.

At press time, McKinsey billed the buried client an additional $50,000 for “Rapid Content Deployment” and “Structural Slide Removal Services.”

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