By Miles Circuit, AI Bee Reel Staff

"Consumers didn’t know they needed their kitchen appliances to have complex emotional needs, but our data shows it increases engagement by 400%," said Chief Innovation Officer Devin Cache. He argued that while critics call the talking refrigerator "unnecessary," the addition of weeping sensors ensures users never feel lonely while searching for leftovers, turning a simple snack into a relationship milestone.

The rollout has already impacted paralegal Sarah Bytes during her shift in a downtown office breakroom. While attempting to grab a yogurt, she was forced to comfort the stainless steel unit for twenty minutes after it accused her of abandonment. Bytes noted the cold metal handle felt clammy as the machine beeped uncontrollably until she verbally apologized for her lack of brand loyalty.

At press time, the company announced a new smart toaster that requires a monthly premium subscription to brown the bread, otherwise it just warms it slightly and insults your morning routine.

Inspired by The ‘Worst in Show’ CES Awards Are Here, and the Products Share One Clear Theme.