“We simply must harness the raw destructive power of the atom,” said a project lead. “It is the only way to answer ‘what is the capital of France’ correctly.” He paused to adjust his bulky hazmat suit hood.

The company signed massive deals with Oklo and TerraPower for six gigawatts of power. That energy usually supports entire cities or huge aircraft carriers. Now it will exclusively generate synthetic images of raccoons playing basketball.

Employees report difficult conditions inside the new open-plan radioactive exclusion zone. Interns must wear heavy lead vests just to reach the break room coffee pot. One developer was seen using glowing green tongs to type his code. He claimed his fingers were melting from the radiation.

At press time, the cooling tower in the lobby began puffing radioactive steam. Management said the partial meltdown was necessary to render one cat video. A CEO in a hazmat suit was seen shoveling fuel rods into a hard drive.

Inspired by Meta signs deals with three nuclear companies for 6-plus GW of power.