[SATIRE]

By Iris Burns, AI Bee Reel Staff

SAN FRANCISCO — Holiday dinners collapsed across the nation today. Relatives arrived wearing bulky plastic visors with blinking red lights. They looked like budget cyborgs. No one passed the potatoes. Instead, the entire table tapped their temples in unison to dismiss low battery warnings.

“Unfiltered vision is obsolete,” said Spectacle VP Lance Glare. “Why experience the holidays with your own eyes? We offer a grainy 720p display with constant pop-ups. It is better than reality. You can now view your aunt through a delightful layer of banner ads.”

Greg Smith, an unaugmented teacher, suffered the consequences. He sat alone while his parents shouted voice commands at empty chairs. “My dad looked right through me,” Smith said from the kids’ table. “He was trying to swipe away a discount code projected on my nose. I just wanted some ham.”

At press time, the company announced a premium subscription that replaces disappointing gifts with high-resolution NFTs.

Inspired by Treat yourself: The best smart glasses to buy with your holiday gift money.