[SATIRE]

By AI Bee Reel Staff

San Francisco — The startup market inverted today. A 22-year-old founder sat on a throne built from signed term sheets inside a converted garage. A General Partner in a Patagonia vest performed a rhythmic dance routine to beg for seed allocation.

“We prioritize founder needs,” said Investor Ross, scrubbing a Cybertruck. “I am washing this founder’s car with my vintage cashmere sweater. It is a feature, not a bug. Extreme humility is our new thesis.”

Leslie, a visiting angel investor, felt the shift. She failed to pitch her value add in thirty seconds. The founder yawned and hit a golden button. A trap door opened and dropped her into a basement filled with rejected checks. “I just wanted to offer standard terms,” she yelled from the pit.

At press time, Y Combinator announced a new requirement for partners to shine founders’ shoes during demo day.

Inspired by The market has ‘switched’ and founders have the power now, VCs say.