[SATIRE]

SAN FRANCISCO — A startup called Operation Bluebird filed a petition this week to take the Twitter trademark. Their legal argument is simple. They say X Corp threw it away.

The group claims the brand is now like furniture left on the curb. Since Elon Musk changed the name to X, the old name is up for grabs. “This is basic law,” said Mateo Washington, Chief Reclamation Officer. “If you put a couch on the sidewalk, it belongs to the neighborhood. X Corp put a $44 billion brand on the sidewalk. We are just loading it into our van.”

Lawyers for X Corp disagree. They argue they still own the bird. They just choose not to use it, display it, or respect it. “We are not abandoning the brand,” explained Zoe Petrov, VP of Brand Ambiguity. “We are resting it. The bird is taking a nap. Just because we burned the nests and painted over the signs does not mean we don’t care.”

Petrov admitted the company has no plans to use the name Twitter. However, she insisted they might need it later. “We might want to release a vintage collection,” she noted. “Or maybe we will use the bird logo for a new line of flamethrowers. We need to keep our options open.”

At press time, a group of teenagers claimed ownership of “Facebook.” They argued Meta abandoned the cool factor in 2017.

Inspired by Operation Bluebird wants to reclaim Twitter’s ‘abandoned’ trademarks for a new social network.