SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In a bold move to capture the full spectrum of human experience, OpenAI is

“This biological processing unit is actually industry standard,” said Darius Vance, VP of Infrastructure. “The hamster decides which

“Our system fixes health by simply changing the definition of being alive,” said Marcus Chen, VP of Digital

“The folding mechanism is actually working exactly as intended,” said Lead Engineer Trent Davis, ignoring the hissing sounds

“We view this financial ruin as a commitment to creativity,” said VP of Engineering Mark Olson, keeping a

By Priya Patel, AI Bee Reel Staff “Real intelligence requires real secrets,” said Brad Thompson, VP of Data